Monday, November 5, 2012

Ambienisms Part 1

So, you know how on facebook mom's are always posting funny, cute or very intelligent things that their kids say?  Well, I have decided to write about the funny things that Emily has said to me while under the influence of Ambien!  She first started taking ambien when we went camping over the Labor Day weekend, and it didn't really work then.  The warning was this: "Take only ONE capsule at night, right as you are going to sleep as Ambien takes effect instantly."  She kind of laughed at it, because drugs don't really work on her that well.  Boy, does it work now!!!  It is great!

To set the scene:  In the evenings Emily and I usually head to bed at about 10:45, after watching an episode of Chopped on the Food Network (great show!).  Emily is usually the first one up to our room, and then I check emails, facebook, etc for about 15 minutes.  Confession: a lot of times I wait just so the Ambien will kick in, because it is kind of fun to see what Emily is going to say while on the drug.  Once in bed we usually read the scriptures for a little while and then we say prayers together.  The following is an example of one night of Emily's Ambienisms.  Side note--I am not telling you this to try and embarrass Emily, I am writing it because...well, I don't know why.  But it is funny.

Jake: Should we read?
Em: Ok, you start.
J: I think you should start because you'll be asleep in 10 seconds, but I'll start anyway. (I began reading, and knowing that she was about asleep when I started I only read like 3-4 paragraphs)
J: Ok, your turn, hun.
E: Silence
J: Em, it's your turn.
E: Silence
J: Ok, let's stop there.
E: No, I'm ok to read
J: No, we're done.
E: Silence

5 seconds later she woke up, so we began our prayers.  Now, for prayers, especially now that Emily is not able to move very easily, she just continues to lay down on the bed, and I kneeled kinda behind her with my head on her shoulder thinking that might help her stay awake during the prayer.

Emily began her prayer, and 5 seconds later begins to mumble for about 10 seconds, then silence.  I squeeze her leg to help her along.  More mumbling, then out of nowhere:

E: What's that on my shoulder? Oh, I couldn't figure it out.  That's where I got my tetanus shot, and they said that it might hurt, so I didn't know what it was.
J (laughing now): You can finish the prayer now.  Just say in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen
E (partially mumbling again): Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

20 minutes later.  I was reading my book when Em flips over very quickly as if she forgot something:

E: Did we read?
J: Yes, and prayed.  You said the prayer.
E: No I didn't.  We didn't read did we?  Was I supposed to get in the....
J: What!?  Get on the what?
E: Nothing, I was in Egypt.
J (laughing a lot now!)

Gotta love the ambien.  It has actually saved her this pregnancy, because she can sleep at least for a few good, solid hours.  Thank you ambien.  Thank you for what you have done for my wife, and thank you for making me laugh on a nightly basis!

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